Well, I had a plan be in the gym this week. But God, had a different plan. I’ve been sick in bed for the past four days. So sick I cannot stand up and be active. It’s disheartening.
I haven’t worked out since Monday. My fitbit went from near 9k steps to 2-3k. Ugh. Frustrating. Nevertheless I have eaten well despite my desire for comfort food.
As I have been forced to lie in bed, I have had cravings for cheesy food, sweets, and chips. As I contemplated this phenomenon, I realized that it wasn’t my stomach that was seeking comfort, it was my heart. I call it a “phenomenon” because I haven’t eaten those types of foods in weeks. Your taste buds regenerate every 7-10 days. So you crave what you eat. If you’re eating sugar, you crave sugar. If you’re eating junk food, well you get the point. So, I’m in awe that I’m craving something I don’t eat. Anyway, I asked the Lord to be my comfort and asked for the strength to not fall into such temptation. I’m thankful to report, that I didn’t.
It’s crazy to think that most of what we do as addicts, is just habit. Normally I would “comfort” myself with a chemical rush to completely block out the physical or real pain I was experiencing. Is it that I am too weak to cope? Or is it that I have become addicted to repression? I don’t have the answers. I just know that despite this physical sickness, I’m dealing with some heart sickness. The word of God tells us that, “The heart is deceitful above all things and desperately sick, who can understand it?” -Jeremiah 17:9. In verse 10 the Lord lets us know that He is the Lord and that He alone searches the heart and tests the mind. I love that. I have no idea of the countless wickedness in my heart, but Jesus does. And yet He loves me (us).
So, no matter how much constant craving I have, albeit for comfort food, love, lust, money, health, He alone knows where the longing comes from and He alone can fill the void.
“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as we share abundantly in Christ’s sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too.” – 2 Corinthians 1:3-5
Today I am suffering physical pain and affliction. Doing so allows me to share in His sufferings. And those desires for physical comfort, well it is only He alone, who can fill them. Again, I will confess that I don’t have the answers. But right here, right now, on my sick bed, I know that I have Jesus. And believe me, that truly is a comfort.