“Why would we want fame when God has promised us glory? Why would we be seeking the wealth of the world when the wealth of heaven is ours?” -Paul Washer
This quote captivates my heart. I wholeheartedly agree. I currently have a play I wrote being produced and somehow it has gotten so much fame and attention that random people I have never met keep coming up to me with hands out saying, “you’re the playwright!? My dear, you’re going places! You’re a mastermind! This was a genius play!” I don’t say that to boast, but rather to paint a picture.
It’s easy in my flesh to hear that and think that means I’m great. It’s easy to think that talent or gifting makes us wonderful or worthy people. For a big chunk of my life, I pursued fame. Once upon a time I was on a trajectory to fame via Theatre.
Yet, just as Paul Washer said, why would we want fame when God has promised us glory?! When the Lord gripped my heart and called me to full time ministry and missions, my whole world was changed. Rather than leaving those goals or gifts behind, the visions completely changed. Jesus revolutionized my dreams and desires. I stopped wanting fame and recognition. So much so, that those comments and compliments now, make me really uncomfortable. I know, I know, ironic. You don’t like to talk about yourself, or have recognition, yet you write a daily blog all about you. That’s actually the complete opposite of what I intend to do here. It’s not about me. It’s all about Jesus. I’m not seeking fame. Jesus promises me glory. There is nothing that can compare with that! This is about Jesus’ fame. I want to make him even more famous. With my heart, breath, and soul, I want Him to have all the fame (thus my anonymity).
I don’t want fame, Lord, I want your glory. It happens with weight loss too. People look at your ever changing body and make comments about looking good. It is the most uncomfortable thing to me. I sincerely appreciate the encouragement. But most people have the misconception that those who are losing weight do so for a better body, and although that’s a bonus, for me, it’s not the goal. So, I find even that kind of fame uncomfortable. I just want to be invisible and give Jesus His fame. Yet I know I have been entrusted with something big, and I cannot allow my humanity to get in the way of that. The Lord has given me a story to tell, and even though it’s not super easy to share all the time, I must because it is for HIS fame, His glory!
As an actor, I can get on stage and be looked at and judged and not care one bit. I am not myself, I am someone else entirely and I am free of care or worry because once I get off that stage, I return to who I really am. As myself, on a stage, I am sharing the most intimate parts of me, and that is truly scary. Nevertheless with this story, and this journey, it’s the real me, and it’s really real issues that deserve real attention, and focus, because the hope is that they will illicit real change and real conviction, so others may serve and adore the REAL GOD of heaven and earth. There are no masks. No characters to hide behind.
When I walked away from Theatre many years ago, I thought missions was a more worthy pursuit, and I struggled with gifting and talent for a long time. But as the years have passed and as the Lord has worked on my heart, He has called me back to my second love (second only to Him) and He has shown me that my gifting’s are part of the mission I am called to. I can honor Him and give Him glory in an industry that is very anti-Christ, just by being real and investing my time and talent in the least likely places. I am so thankful for this reassured call to Theatre. Even when many believers disagree with the content, or have a problem with what I am doing, I know I am where I am supposed to be. May Jesus have all the fame in that, and in me! Forever.
The one benefit of having a Theatre show at the moment is my awesome fitbit numbers. With all of the running around, I have been working out like crazy without even setting foot in the gym. Just thought I’d share that. Woot woot, exercise! All glory to Jesus!