Day 20- Exhaustion

I cannot wait for my sister to return tomorrow. Moms are beasts, man!!!! How they manage to think of others all day and still have time to care for their homes, work, and husbands is beyond me. I’m so not fit for this job. I’m way too selfish. I’m ready for some quiet and sleeping in!! 

I had such a long day today. Woke up early and went to my church building to decorate for Christmas. I’ve been on my feet all day. I’m beyond exhaustion. I still haven’t been in the word and I haven’t had a moment of quiet to gather my thoughts! But I will say that I feel the Lord equipping me with the necessary energy to handle these monkeys, in spite of my weakness.  

I made an awful lunch choice today. We ate pizza and salad. I know that pizza is not bad and I’m not condemned by having a slice. I can eat a slice of pizza to the glory of God. I ate a lot of salad and had a slice and I should have walked away. But, I didn’t. I stayed and had another slice. I still don’t feel like it was overeating or binging, but I do feel like I made that choice because of all of this exhaustion. I feel like my heart wanted that momentary pleasure because externally, I’m not getting any rest or selfish comfort. 

Which brings me to this conclusion… the enemy wants us tired and exhausted!!! When we are weak and our defenses are down, we are way more susceptible to fall into temptation! Duh.

Are you a mom? Do you have people constantly needing you? Are you getting alone time, quality time with Jesus? If you are not getting that time, and you find yourself compromising, like me, STOP!!! Run to Jesus!!

Exhaustion hits when we have been running on our own steam. We need Jesus to run this race. If this were the SAT’s it would be like this… 

“Gas is to car, as Jesus is to man.” 

Lol. Academic humor. Anyway… How can we function without Jesus, HE ALONE IS OUR FUEL! Had I sacrificed those last 30-60 minutes of sleep this morning, and read my Bible I would have had the necessary fuel for the day. But I chose what I wanted. Now I’m physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually drained. 

We deceive ourselves and think that we must manage our time perfectly in order to get everything done. But the truth is, when is it ever really done? This is a daily thing. It won’t be done, till we die. So, if we’re to give God an account for how we stewarded our resources, (including time) is worrying about house work and daily chores really time stewarded well? I know some people have demanding spouses or they feel convicted to maintain a clean home for someone else, and I’m not saying that’s not valid. What I am saying is what matters more? Intimacy and growth in God, or a pristine house? Only one of those matters in light of eternity. We often yoke ourselves to these awful masters who tell us what to do and when to do it. And these masters are usually our own expectations of perfection. And we will never reach that perfection. Just deal with that truth. You won’t ever be perfect. That’s actually liberating. 

Seriously, who cares if your house is a mess for half an hour longer than usual? Who cares if dishes pile up and sit there half an hour longer? Who cares if you don’t vacuum precisely at noon daily? You are absolutely, 100% useless with Jesus, FIRST. I saw it in my food choices today. What do you see it in? 

I must go meet with Jesus. I am so tired, but I must stop and run to the arms of my true and worthy Master. Good night y’all. 

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