Have you ever been hanging out with a friend and all of a sudden you start sharing some deep stuff and you find yourself speaking things you never actually say out loud?
This happened to me today. I had such a busy day, but God provided an opportunity to have a little surprise discipleship time with one of my sisters. We met to discuss a Play project and lo and behold the Lord had something else in mind. I found myself crying at my work desk and pouring out my heart in regards to some very deep and personal issues. It was pretty crazy.
I am so thankful that the Lord gave me this moment today. I guess I didn’t realize how hurt I was. See, this is why I love discipleship!!! Alone, I could never get as deep as I did with her. Maybe I could, but for sure it would keep me introverted and inside my head about issues instead of opening up and releasing it. What good does bottling up anything do for me?
I’ve bottled up 400 lbs of feelings and issues. I need Jesus to get me through that. I need my sisters. I need truth.
Food was just okay today. I ate tacos. Real tacos (Mexican tacos). I usually can eat one with a single tortilla and feel good about that. My usual order is a protein style taco, a taco on a bed of lettuce instead of tortilla. But tonight, I didn’t care and I ended up eating three regular tacos with double tortillas!!! I felt awful after. Regretted it immediately!! Then if that wasn’t bad enough, I stood in the face of temptation and couldn’t resist Mexican candy! I had not one, but TWO mazapáns’ (marzipan)! That’s my favorite Mexican candy. Peanuty sugary confection of REGRETS!!!!
Emotions have such a tie to my eating. If you’re tracking it, I usually fall into Godless eating after I’ve been emotionally low. I don’t want this to be the case, Lord. Heal my appetite and the associations of my heart. Speak truth to my soul, Lord. Heal my heart. I don’t want to be fickle in my convictions. Here am I, Lord. Here am I.