Day 33- Ten

My beloved niece turns ten today!!! It’s unbelievable how incredibly fast time truly flies. My older sister is one of my closest friends, and I remember the moment she told me that she was pregnant. I remember finding out that she was a girl, and going to a 3D ultrasound to see her a little bit better. Such excitement and anticipation for this beloved little girl. 

I remember when she was born and how hard her labor was. I remember the moment that I met her and how I felt such intense love. I remember watching her first few days and feeling such hope and simultaneously such fear over having this little one. I remember being her mom’s 24 hr nurse for the first week, and bathing my niece for the first time. 

I know lots of single people say they know what it’s like to have kids. But for me that’s actually very, very true. My sister was out of work for the first six months and once my sister went back, I became my niece’s full-time nanny. Every single day I had my niece from 6am-6pm. Everywhere I went, so did she. Everything I did, she was right there with me. The first time she crawled, her first steps, her first words, her first time trying specific food, learning to walk, potty training, all the way up to homeschool (head start) was with me. On one hand that makes me sad for my sis, but on the other, it’s a true blessing from the Lord considering a woman’s desire for motherhood. I raised kids. I genuinely don’t have that desire. 

Anyway, I watched this little girl become an actual person. And her turning 10 is such a huge milestone. I want to tell her so many things and prepare her for the upcoming years that are going to be so hard. It is my prayer and hope that this young girl would choose Jesus and that her life would be a testimony for the Lord. At her age, I was baptized. And even though everything that followed my baptism has been hard, it’s still has been so good and such an honor and privilege that I have the Lord, and that He has me. I prayed for her today and I’ve been begging the Lord to save her early. She enjoys reading the Bible, so I’m praying that that would be his intention with her.

I’m finding myself so full of joy over this milestone and yet so full of fear watching her. How did I end up right where I was 10 years ago? Nevertheless here I am. 

I love this child and who she has become and I am excited to watch with the Lord does. Because I trust him, even though the world is scary. It’s my hope that she would grow up and choose Jesus, and that she would know that He alone is worth pursuing, and that everything else in this world is vacant. It’s such a big birthday. I’m so full of motherly fear and anxiety for her upcoming years. Thank you Lord for her. Please lead her in your way. Happy Birthday, Tally. I cannot even sum up how much I love you! ❤ 

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