Go

Not wanting to go to gym. Woke up, opened my eyes and am just not in the mood! NO!!!! My goal for these next five weeks is to slowly push myself to walking/lightly jogging more and more. So last week I pushed myself to jog, this week I’m pushing myself to go farther. My legs are sore and I DON’T WANT TO!!!!! NOOOOOO!!!

Twenty minutes later…

Dragged myself out of the bed and saw my workout clothes staring at me with that, “Don’t you want to play?” look!! UGH! Put my clothes on. WAAAAHHHHH. Oh Lord, here’s my life. When you say go, I will go. Sigh. I am tired though. But I will. I will go. 😦

Copernican Principle

So I cannot stop thinking about something my Astronomy professor said yesterday. In discussing Copernicus and the heliocentric universe, he spoke about how great a discovery it must have been back in the day when Copernicus noted that Earth was just one of many planets and that they in fact went around the sun, instead of the sun going around them. He said that one of the greatest lessons we can take away from this is that we are not special. He noted that there is even a principle in the world of Cosmology and Science as a whole called the “Copernican Principle” in which (in his words) essentially says, that we are not special and any idea that puts man in the center of a theory or principle is suspect.

I couldn’t believe my ears. He has made clear that he is neither an atheist nor a believer. Yet he is an evolution believing Astrophysicist who ironically revers, [as most scientist do], the work of Sir Isaac Newton, a Creationist who loved and wrote about God, quite frequently. It all makes me laugh. However, I digress.

I love this professor. He’s very smart, and funny, but his understanding of the Copernican principle made my jaw drop. Think about those words. “Any idea that puts man at the center, is suspect.” That is the very thing the world, and most, if not all religion does.

It is in fact the world [and its religions, philosophies and worldviews therein] that tells man that man can be gods. Man can one day reach perfection, or enlightenment or any other form of nirvana that man pursues. Man elevates himself by revering his own mind and capacity to learn, understand and reason. In praising IQ, knowledge and even his own piety Man elevates himself to the center of his own worship- SELF. Thus living out the Copernican Principle. This idea with man at the center, is incredibly suspect.

Yet, Scripture teaches us a different thing!

Ephesians 2 (NIrV)

You were living in your sins and lawless ways. But in fact you were dead. You used to live as sinners when you followed the ways of this world. You served the one who rules over the spiritual forces of evil. He is the spirit who is now at work in those who don’t obey God. At one time we all lived among them. Our desires were controlled by sin. We tried to satisfy what they wanted us to do. We followed our desires and thoughts. God was angry with us like he was with everyone else. That’s because of the kind of people we all were. But God loves us deeply. He is full of mercy. So he gave us new life because of what Christ has done. He gave us life even when we were dead in sin. God’s grace has saved youGod raised us up with Christ. He has seated us with him in his heavenly kingdom. That’s because we belong to Christ Jesus. He has done it to show the riches of his grace for all time to come. His grace can’t be compared with anything else. He has shown it by being kind to us. He was kind to us because of what Christ Jesus has doneGod’s grace has saved you because of your faith in Christ. Your salvation doesn’t come from anything you do. It is God’s gift. It is not based on anything you have done. No one can brag about earning it10 We are God’s creation. He created us to belong to Christ Jesus. Now we can do good works. Long ago God prepared these works for us to do.

Ephesians 2 proves that man didn’t come up with The Bible’s truths and teachings. It proves man hasn’t changed or rigged the word. Because who would want to give glory to someone else rather than themselves? Every religion, philosophy, theory and worldview out there looks to elevate self and not One Supreme Creator who designed the world and all of life with beautiful and intricate intelligent design.

I can apply the Copernican principle to my battle with my Goliath. I am not special. I simply revolve and rotate around the SON! I am not special, and I am not able to do this on my own. He alone, King Jesus Christ alone gives me everything I need to live and honor Him. Amen Lord. Thank you that even in the midst of secular learning, you are found. If we didn’t worship, the rocks would cry out!! Hallelujah!

Sisterhood

Had an amazing time of fellowship with my sisters today. We all shared where we are and how life is going and I just have to say that what the Psalmist wrote is very, very true. “Behold how good and pleasant it is, when God’s people dwell together in unity.” –Psalm 133:1

If you are not dwelling together with a body, I encourage you to reach out. There is nothing satan wants more than to keep us alone and isolated. When I am alone, isolating myself on purpose, all I am thinking about is sin. How I can sin and what sin I can get into. Left to my own devices, I am absolutely self-destructive and I will get myself in deep trouble. I am like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Absolute wickedness inside of my heart, which scripture assures me is “wicked and desperately sick” (Jeremiah 17:9). This duality of man exists in all of us, and I assure you that if you are not sharing your life with others, it will end badly. We are called to confess to one another and to meet daily so we won’t be deceived by the wickedness of sin. I am so thankful for this sisterhood and the beautiful, albeit short time we spent together tonight. Thank you Lord.

Dishes

There used to be a church down the street from my house that had a billboard on its lawn that read, “Do something great for God.” This billboard used to drive me crazy. I started thinking of it because I faced a dilemma this evening. Wash the dishes, or don’t wash the dishes? What to do?

Often times, because of our “Christianese” language and how we’ve been programmed, we want to do something “great” for the Lord. Back in Bible College, all my classmates were studying to be overseas missionaries and many achieved that goal. All the while I ended up caring for my family and living at home. Yippee, right?

It’s so easy to dream of being the next Francis Chan or Mother Teresa. It’s easy to compare and wish you could be something “bigger” or “greater” than you currently are. Most of our missions are small in comparison to famous people such as them. When we think about doing something “great” for God we can easily miss the “greatness” He has in store for us in our everyday existence. The truth is that you don’t have to go overseas to be a missionary. As a caregiver, I’ve learned that my everyday life is my mission. I know that seeking Jesus involves a daily funeral for myself. Truth be told, it is not easy or fun to dig our plots and bury our skin daily, but alas, it’s what we’ve been called to do.

In dealing with all of this food stuff, I keep coming back to the same thing. Lord, I want You to be enough. What’s with this constant craving? Why am I so unsatisfied? Why do I desire and dream of my own form of greatness instead of understanding the greatness I’ve been given? JESUS. Jesus is the greatest gift anyone could ever receive. What is it within us that thinks He’s not enough? Why Lord, why do I not understand that you are more than enough?

And then I think back to that stupid intrusive “Do something great for God” sign and here I am years later, and I’m still asking myself if God is really enough, and I’m supposed to act like I don’t still dream of being in Africa doing medical missions, loving orphans, and curing AIDS? I’m supposed to desire something great, yet be satisfied in Him as enough when I don’t get to do the GREAT things I apparently think I should be doing?! What!?

Then, it hits me. The something great I am doing for God, is surrendering every right, want, dream, and tool of self-preservation. The GREAT thing I can do for God is to get out of His way. It hits me. And instead of pummeling me with stings, it soothes my weary heart with His ever gentle love.

Jesus wants me to surrender and be willing to do what He calls me to. Even if that means ten years of schooling before I can serve in Africa, if I serve there. Even if that means changing my father’s diapers, even though I don’t think he ever changed mine. Even if that means watching loved ones pass, even if that means surrendering the right to marry, have children, eat pizza or sugar, buy clothes, sleep comfortably, have a roof over my head, have a car, watch the Lord of The Rings trilogy in one sitting- yes, the great thing I can do for God, is to surrender and be lead in the doing because the truth is that nothing I can do or bring to God is of any worth. The purpose of the Gospel is to love God, and love others and to serve as He says, leads, and calls. Period. All I have to do is seek Him, and the doing gets done.

In doing something great for God, I have been learning that all my little surrenders, things like serving my father (when he was alive), and serving my family now, amount to Him doing something Great in me. When I am in Him, serving Him, glorifying Him, He changes me. He is great in me, when I am clinging to Him, surrendering whatever I feel completes me.

No one wants to take the trash out. I’m staring at this pile of dishes and I am fighting all of me on this because I am tired, and I know my housemates are tired too. And I know that I can love them well by doing it. But who wants to do the dishes?? Can they even be done to the glory of God?? Does Francis Chan wash dishes?? Isn’t he busy learning and studying and growing with the Lord all day long? Does that include dishes, does he surrender his time hanging out with Chris Tomlin to serve his family and wash the dishes?!?! (Francis used to be my pastor, and I’m certain he washes dishes. Lol)

Seriously though who wants to do the dirty work? I remember clipping fingernails, changing diapers, and bathing an 82 yr old combative Dementia patient. I remember doing his laundry, and spending hours in the kitchen cooking meals, and cleaning the beds, the floors, the whole house, and even still, having to drive people around all day. My life still looks this way, despite my father’s passing. In a typical day, I am driving my niece, nephew, mom and sister around most of the day. It’s not a dream job, but it’s a job that must be done. And when I surrender my wants and my rights, I find the Great God that is doing something GREAT in me, instead of me longing for the other way around.

I die a little more every day. And no matter how unappealing that sounds, it is the best dream of my life. That one day, I will be fully given to Jesus and living in absolute abandon to His good and perfect will. Now, let me reiterate that I don’t do any of this perfectly. In dying daily, I am SUCKING at it! Some days are easier than others. But the point I am making is that we who profess to love the Lord must be willing to surrender OUR dreams of greatness, dare I even say, “success” and live in the GREATNESS he has called us to. Your life, your children, your marriage, your job, your home, your sin struggles, your thoughts, your finances, your worries, your fears, your doubts, yea even your sleeping can be done to the glory of God. There is greatness in all of that, if your perspective and purpose is set on Jesus Christ as King and Lord, everything you do in your daily life can be you doing something great for God. So, yippee indeed. Here goes everything, as I grab this sponge and soap and begin to lather up this pile of dishes. I know that my surrender is the best thing I can do right now.

The point of living is glorifying God in everything. Because this life is not about what work I can do to save me, but rather what or how I can elevate Jesus and what He’s done for me and how He’s saved me. So, yes, the answer is, yes Jesus, you are enough. And yes, intrusive billboard that used to be down the street from me that still comes to mind often, yes. Let’s do something great for God!

Let’s start with surrender.

 

Astronomy

Oh I don’t think I can contain the emotion! I am beyond excited! My astronomy class begins today! I’ll be honest. My nerd flag flies pretty high for very few things. Besides Jesus, its Dinosaurs, Jazz and ASTRONOMY!! (Okay, okay and Lord of The Rings, Theatre, books and tea. But, I’m trying to make myself cooler here, so just go with it).

I’ve been dying to take this class for a few years now, but microbiology, chemistry, and biology took precedence. (I’m not helping my case for cool at all here.) But alas, I must confess, that I am ecstatic that this class starts today! I cannot wait to better understand this beautiful world that my YHWH created. I’m pretty positive it will be taught from a secular person who doesn’t believe in the Lord, but I am thrilled nonetheless. I feel so very close to the Lord when I am looking at the vastness of space. I imagine what He was thinking as He named stars! Sigh… such beauty and romance. Oh Lord, thank you for being the SUBLIME Creator! Thank you for giving me the ability to create as well!

Just a few verses about the Lord’s handiwork (Astronomy).

“By the word of the LORD the heavens were made, and by the breath of His mouth all their host.” –Psalm 33:6

“God made the two great lights, the greater light to govern the day, and the lesser light to govern the night; He made the stars also.” –Genesis 1:16

(*The totally nonchalant way that is written is CRAZY to me. “He made the stars also.” Unreal! There are literally billions of stars in an infinite space, and so easily, he made the stars also!!! UGH!!! My beloved King, I bow before thee!!!)

 “Lift up your eyes on high and see who has created these stars, the One who leads forth their number, He calls them all by name; because of the greatness of His might and the strength of His power, not one of them is missing.” –Isaiah 40:26

“He counts the number of the stars; He gives names to all of them. Great is our Lord and abundant in strength; His understanding is infinite.” –Psalm 147:4-5

“Can you bind the chains of the Pleiades, or loose the cords of Orion? Can you lead forth a constellation in its season, and guide the Bear with her children? Do you know the ordinances of the heavens, or fix their rule over the earth?” –Job 38:31-33                                                       [this is the Lord speaking to Job about himself.]

“He who made the Pleiades and Orion and changes deep darkness into morning, who also darkens day into night, who calls for the waters of the sea and pours them out on the surface of the earth, the LORD is His name.” –Amos 5:8

WOW! Talk about amazing! Thank you Lord! Wow!

Oh, by the way, food’s been clean and healthy. Praises to King Jesus! He alone does the work. I just show up. Go Jesus!!

Stifled

Technically this would be another Weekly Check In, but alas I am still without a scale so I can’t check in till next week.

So, since I wanted to share the great things the Lord showed me yesterday, I will do that now.

We had an all worship service yesterday and as we sang, we were encouraged to journal through some songs and thoughts. And these are the things I wrote. Literally, I just copied and pasted. These were my thoughts/prayers.

Listening to “Our God Reigns” Lord, and I’m clearly hearing how I don’t actually live this out. I believe it’s true that you reign in the WHOLE world and that you alone are King. But, I see how I don’t let you reign in all my being. You’re not reigning in my heart or over my sin struggles. I feel like I’ve listened to the passive lies of the enemy (an idea one of my sisters recently shared). I feel that I too have been listening to satan. Oh Lord. Heal me. RESTORE to me the JOY of my salvation! Restore to me the hope and love and thrill of being your baby girl!

Father, I feel like I lived under a curse all year long. Because someone spoke death over me. I feared all year long over this!!!! I was in prison all year long thinking about it! And I know it will happen. And only you know how. So, why do I sit and worry and fear? I know I’m gonna die one day. And that may be this year or 50 years from now. But, alas you are the King of my heart and my life and only you know when. You alone will heal and protect and RESTORE to me all the locusts ate from me this past year! You alone will restore my heart, my mind, my body, and my spirit. I’m reminded of this verse. I pray this over me. You and you alone.  “So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom.” – Psalm 90:12

Listening to the song, “Todo Poderoso” (All-Powerful) really convicted me. Listening to that song, I feel like You [Lord] showed me that I have been living in a spirit of fear, no power and no self-control. This is a big deal because I have been living so fearful of food and so oppressed by sin that I’ve made sin really big and God really small instead of looking at sin and reminding it that my God is really BIG! You Lord, have given me a spirit not of fear, but of power, of love and SELF-CONTROL (2 Tim. 1:7).

I’ve been living in such a complacent way. I SETTLED for FEAR and powerlessness. I am absolutely powerless in the face of temptation and food issues. I have severe brokenness in this area but perhaps it’s because I have brokenness in my faith! I am powerless, but you O Lord are not! Are you todo poderoso over all of me? Are you all powerful over my fear??? I’ve been living in stifled faith!!! Which just goes to show how powerful words can be. They can bless or curse a person.

Psalm 100: “Shout for joy to the LORD, everyone on earth. Worship the LORD with gladness. Come to him with songs of joy. Know that the LORD is God He made us, and we belong to Him. We are his people. We are the sheep belonging to his flock. Give thanks as you enter the gates of his temple. Give praise as you enter its courtyards. Give thanks to him and praise his name. The LORD is good. His faithful love continues forever. It will last for all time to come.”

Come to the Lord with gladness. Lord, gladness. I keep coming to you with fear. Where is the gladness? Restore to me the gladness of being yours!!!

For we are not our own, but we are yours!! We belong to him. To you, I am your people. Lord, yes!!!! I am yours. I am yours. I am yours. Lord, help me live this out. Help me live like I’m yours. Help me rejoice at being yours!!

Amen. It was so good to have that time and those incredible realizations! It’s so easy to become stifled in faith and think that we are actually living, when we’re just passing time and going through the motions. I am so thankful for this awakening. I want to be healed Lord, in all parts of me. Food, weight, my desires, my appetite, everything. Here am I, Lord. Reign over me! All of me! Be todo poderoso over all of me. I surrender. I surrender, LORD.

 

 

songs for your listening pleasure/reference

Danilo Montero “Todo Poderoso” thank you m3mitrox for posting this video.

 

Passion’s “Our God Reigns” cover of the brilliant Delirious’ song. Thank you blueyedsoldier07 for posting this video.

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