Day 51- Stifled

Technically this would be another Weekly Check In, but alas I am still without a scale so I can’t check in till next week.

So, since I wanted to share the great things the Lord showed me yesterday, I will do that now.

We had an all worship service yesterday and as we sang, we were encouraged to journal through some songs and thoughts. And these are the things I wrote. Literally, I just copied and pasted. These were my thoughts/prayers.

Listening to “Our God Reigns” Lord, and I’m clearly hearing how I don’t actually live this out. I believe it’s true that you reign in the WHOLE world and that you alone are King. But, I see how I don’t let you reign in all my being. You’re not reigning in my heart or over my sin struggles. I feel like I’ve listened to the passive lies of the enemy (an idea one of my sisters recently shared). I feel that I too have been listening to satan. Oh Lord. Heal me. RESTORE to me the JOY of my salvation! Restore to me the hope and love and thrill of being your baby girl!

Father, I feel like I lived under a curse all year long. Because someone spoke death over me. I feared all year long over this!!!! I was in prison all year long thinking about it! And I know it will happen. And only you know how. So, why do I sit and worry and fear? I know I’m gonna die one day. And that may be this year or 50 years from now. But, alas you are the King of my heart and my life and only you know when. You alone will heal and protect and RESTORE to me all the locusts ate from me this past year! You alone will restore my heart, my mind, my body, and my spirit. I’m reminded of this verse. I pray this over me. You and you alone.  “So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom.” – Psalm 90:12

Listening to the song, “Todo Poderoso” (All-Powerful) really convicted me. Listening to that song, I feel like You [Lord] showed me that I have been living in a spirit of fear, no power and no self-control. This is a big deal because I have been living so fearful of food and so oppressed by sin that I’ve made sin really big and God really small instead of looking at sin and reminding it that my God is really BIG! You Lord, have given me a spirit not of fear, but of power, of love and SELF-CONTROL (2 Tim. 1:7).

I’ve been living in such a complacent way. I SETTLED for FEAR and powerlessness. I am absolutely powerless in the face of temptation and food issues. I have severe brokenness in this area but perhaps it’s because I have brokenness in my faith! I am powerless, but you O Lord are not! Are you todo poderoso over all of me? Are you all powerful over my fear??? I’ve been living in stifled faith!!! Which just goes to show how powerful words can be. They can bless or curse a person.

Psalm 100: “Shout for joy to the LORD, everyone on earth. Worship the LORD with gladness. Come to him with songs of joy. Know that the LORD is God He made us, and we belong to Him. We are his people. We are the sheep belonging to his flock. Give thanks as you enter the gates of his temple. Give praise as you enter its courtyards. Give thanks to him and praise his name. The LORD is good. His faithful love continues forever. It will last for all time to come.”

Come to the Lord with gladness. Lord, gladness. I keep coming to you with fear. Where is the gladness? Restore to me the gladness of being yours!!!

For we are not our own, but we are yours!! We belong to him. To you, I am your people. Lord, yes!!!! I am yours. I am yours. I am yours. Lord, help me live this out. Help me live like I’m yours. Help me rejoice at being yours!!

Amen. It was so good to have that time and those incredible realizations! It’s so easy to become stifled in faith and think that we are actually living, when we’re just passing time and going through the motions. I am so thankful for this awakening. I want to be healed Lord, in all parts of me. Food, weight, my desires, my appetite, everything. Here am I, Lord. Reign over me! All of me! Be todo poderoso over all of me. I surrender. I surrender, LORD.

 

 

songs for your listening pleasure/reference

Danilo Montero “Todo Poderoso” thank you m3mitrox for posting this video.

 

Passion’s “Our God Reigns” cover of the brilliant Delirious’ song. Thank you blueyedsoldier07 for posting this video.

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