I had a restful weekend. I thank thee for this, O Lord. As it’s been a whirlwind of a month…
Wait! What is this?! A random post a year a half later on this poor little website that never gets any love!? Is anyone still reading this?
Yes. Alas, I am here. VeeCee the giant slayer! Still killing my goliath! Still slaying this giant! Still at the throne of God doing my all to obey and honor Him with all that I am.
1.5 years after that little piggy post, I find myself in a whole new job (started in February this year), healed from a work injury that left me with 9 stitches and two awesome scars that have finally, 3.5 months later, healed. I am back in school pursuing a degree in something I never imagined and no it’s not nursing. Here I am. Where my hurting yet resilient feet are.
How are you my friends? I was reminded by the Lord that I used to blog. It was a sweet thing for me. I haven’t even considered writing again in all these months, but now… I edited and revamped this site and here we go. There’s no theme for the writing, or focus. Just a girl with a desire to please her Adonai with all she’s got. Here goes everything. Again… 🙂
Today I was at Church and there was such a large crowd as VBS just ended. Tons of new kids and families were present. It was so encouraging. As everyone is trying to move around and get from one place to another, a little girl- most likely 6 years old, is walking in front of her dad and she decides to do a cartwheel as she walks. Dad doesn’t skip a beat, as if she does this all the time, and he just lovingly smiled and kept walking. Fully accepting of his daughter’s quirks and adorableness. All the people that were walking and trying to get through didn’t even sense the pause. They all walked with purpose. Never even noticed the child.
In all the hustle and bustle of people pushing through to get somewhere, the daughter stopped to be herself, and the father just allowed her to do so. This really encouraged me!
See, I am a daughter to a Heavenly Father who knows that I am full of quirks and oddities (Some of you know this too) and yeah, I guess some adorableness too, sometimes. And lately I’ve been walking in some great doubt and unbelief about who He is.
I had a spiritually hard week where I felt like the enemy was coming against me daily. I battled some big Goliath’s this week and really had to face some ugliness within me. Lies that we’re telling me that I could somehow strive to be a better child of God and that the reason for my misery was that I wasn’t trying hard enough. I kept hearing lies about what God requires of me and I was really overwhelmed with the burden of striving.
I had been striving for growth and change. And all the while the Lord is watching my quirks and oddities and doing all to remind me with a smile, that I need not do anything special in order for him to love me. There is nothing I can accomplish that will make him love me more.
What I forget sometimes is that I am FULLY loved. Does that resonate with you? Fully loved. Completely loved. No stipulations, no expectations, no human insecurities, but fully and completely loved, just the way I am. Not thinner, or smarter, or prettier. Just the way I am.
A brother once told me, “no amount of striving can make him love you more.” This is the truth that crushed the lies for me this week. I am never more loved in any single moment, than at this very moment. And I can say that every single moment. Whether I’m in sin or obedience. The love of the father never changes. Meditate on that! And none of this love was earned in any way. “But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” -Romans 5:8.
Friends, do you know this love?
This week I had to put to death these lies that we’re stealing my joy and purpose. This daughter struggled and was doing cartwheels of panic and fear (more details on all this later) and her Father, didn’t even miss a beat, he let her be who she is, but not without destroying those lies with love! The whole world kept on spinning, but me and my Abba, had a moment and we just kept on walking. For this, I am beyond grateful. O my Adonai, no blogposts can ever sum up my love for you.
Friends, YOU are loved. Let His love wash over you and forget the to do’s and the pressing lists of slavery to unfit masters that never deliver a sense of accomplishment [chores]. Rest in the loving embrace of a Father who loves you just as you are. For today, for this moment, that’s enough. Strive no longer my friend. Rest. Do a cartwheel and rejoice that you are fully known. And you are fully loved, by a good, good father.
“Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword?
As it is written,
“For your sake we are being killed all the day long;
we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.”
No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.” -Romans 8:35-39